My peers, relatives, and co-workers have spent the past 24 years of my life telling me that I was destined for greatness. I struggled to believe them as I watched folks my age and younger do great things like graduate Harvard, invent life-saving medications, write best-selling novels, and launch six-figure businesses. I made a prom dress that didn’t go viral in the age of homemade prom dresses going viral on Instagram. I started a club to raise awareness about mental health when teens were winning community service awards for mental health initiatives. Mostly, I was doing these things because it felt like the right thing to do. But a part of me was hoping that if I kept doing great things, eventually it would be my ticket to stardom.
When I started The Eco Afro in 2018, I didn’t know that there were other Black social media influencers on the brink of creating an empire in sustainable living. I just thought I could make a few posts about my experience and share some tips. I eagerly made cosplays for Blerdcon because it felt like the fun thing to do, then I got to the con and realized cosplay is a big eco-unfriendly deal.
But for a moment, I was starstruck. I felt like maybe there should be someone who gets a million product samples to test and report back to eager followers. Maybe I could be the person to make monthly sustainable cosplay videos to inspire people to cosplay on a budget. I almost fell for the rat race.
Earlier this year, I started helping my cousin with her Poshmark boutique. I got giddy from the few sales that we started to make and wondered if I should start my own, so I could curate cute clothes. I shopped for a few secondhand items for a closet cosplay, and before I knew it, I had fallen down a rabbit hole of purchases that I convinced myself I needed because they were secondhand.
The prospect of fame and fortune is intoxicating. The same girl who cringed at YouTube thrift hauls that featured giggly Zillennials with plastic shopping bags full of thrifted fast-fashion pieces was really on the verge of starting her own race to the bottom just for some likes and endorsements to claw her way out of oppression.
I realize it doesn’t have to be like this.
I want to move at my own pace and be comfortable with that person. I’m not going to make microwave cosplays just because it’s a popular character that everyone wants to see. Whether I made my entire cosplay or just one piece, I am still amazing. Even if I forget to record every single second of the process, or it takes six months for me to finally post the TikTok, I’m still amazing.
I was recently on the Stitch Please Podcast where I talked about my work at Scraplanta Creative Reuse. The host, Lisa Woolfork, hyped me up, and I felt like I was doing something great with my life. Even though I have yet to participate in #MeMadeMay or failed to sew up everything in my fabric stash, I remembered the amazing things I have had the opportunity to sew and how I wear them with love. As much as I love thrifting, I only go every couple of weeks to add one item to my wardrobe. Occasionally, I will buy something brand new and have to go through the pain of throwing away plastic packaging. Then I gently remind myself that it was a necessary purchase, and I don’t do this every week.
I write all of this to say that my sustainable living journey has not been easy, perfect, or aesthetically pleasing. My wardrobe is a mix of handmade, thrifted, and purchased new pieces. I sometimes go months without making or thrifting new pieces, and I just take time to enjoy the things that I do have. My pace is very slow. I will revisit The Eco Afro and my other blogs at my own pace, but I refuse to keep creating content just to say I created something.
Also, I want whoever reads this to know that you are amazing at any pace you move at. If you’re a content creator, this is an affirmation that it’s okay to go on hiatus for months and love yourself. If you’re a consumer, I want to tell you it’s okay to post something and fade back into obscurity for the rest of eternity. I’ll be one of your 50 likes, and we’ll be footprints in the sand together.
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